Posted by: cmittermeier | December 17, 2010

when dream hits reality, who wins?

Today was the first of many hard days.  Life still needs to be lived – I am still one of the leads in the Confirmation program.  I am still the one doing the organizing of the issue nights.  I still have to hold the buck on Mary’s Corner right now.  I am still behind in preparing for next Tuesday.  I still didn’t get a short advert ready to give to LV on Mary’s Corner for the weekend.  I am still the one to pick up the finishing touches on teacher gifts and grab things to go around the grade one class.  I am still the one to go through last years yearbook to help said grade one student figure out who is in his class… life doesn’t stop.

So, did I get my walk in?

Did I cut up the veggies and make the spinach dip?

Did I get my nap in?

Did I test my glucose?

It was 3/4, with my nap loosing out.  Change is not going to be easy, I said that from the beginning.  Its one thing to look ahead and know you are bound to hit a few crags on the rocks and another thing to feel the scraps on your shins.  It was a really hard day and the scraps don’t feel too nice.

Looking back on today does not hold quite the same insight it has many of the previous days.  Though 10 minutes for a walk was found, I cannot see that time coming regularly.  Mind you, that may be part of the long-term solution: stop worrying about EVERY  day and just concentrate on the one you are living.  It certainly is like God to get us back to basics: “give us THIS DAY…”.  there, now that feels better.  I don’t need to worry about all the days that will just as hectic, I just need to worry about today.

Its funny, but living in the moment has been heralded as this great big modern wow – and yet it is such a basic of our faith.  Hmm.  Curious.  Not that it is part of our faith, I’m just curious if I’ll ever come across something true that isn’t part of our faith.  ‘Tis a curious thought.

At one point today I was commenting on the spiritual spread of Moms in Mary’s Corner.  I see myself in many of them, and there are certainly parts to these Mom’s journey’s that repeat my fledgling steps.  I commented on how I was very careful with them because God took me when I was there, I was not going to do differently and my listener reminded me how she was glad He still was taking us – and more hopefully how she was hopeful he would still accept us at our death.  It is again a fundamental principle that the closer one tried to get to Christ, the finer the sieve you use on yourself.  Though I doubt I will ever use HIS sieve, I have certainly noticed my own getting finer.  One gift I am very grateful for is that I have not lost the memory of the sieve that was more like a soup strainer than a sieve.  It allows me to be more creative with many of the people I deal with.

I have reflected a fair amount on that one conversation.  It spoke to me on many levels.  No matter where you get, there will always be a next step, another sieve.  I will continually be looking at the work I do with my health and go “hmm, now it is time to…”.  But the coin has two sides.  I realized in that conversation that I saw my beginner steps in others.  On a day like today, when finding 10 minutes for the walk and 20 minutes to get veggies for tomorrow ready… one day that will the spot where I once was and He accepted me there.  I am not there today, but I will be one day.

One foot after another.  One foot.  Two feet.  Red foot.  Blue foot.

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