Posted by: cmittermeier | January 11, 2011

Monday, Monday… how long till Friday?

Oh my.  Today is Monday and as I reflect on the weekend all I can say is to myself is YUK.  Yes, yes, I made my goals, I exercised in the morning both days – but I’m grumpy and its all because I didn’t sleep in on Sunday.  Either I totally underestimated how much that extra bit of sleep recharges the batteries, or I am more resistant to change than I anticipated.

I do not take a full Sabbath on Sunday because I help out at the church from 10:00am to 2:00pm.  I try (though to varying degrees of success) to make Thursday day into a Sabbath and keep Sunday afternoons and evenings as prime family time.  But I can’t sleep in on Thursday, the kids have to get to school.  Waking up at regular time on Sunday was gross.  The external rewards of “wow, look what you were able to accomplish” do not flip the coin from bleck to yeah.  That in itself is not the problem.  There are little things we Catholics can do in such situations to get around the lack of emotional reward.  We can offer it up as suffering.  We can remember that we are not meant to live in consolation all the time, earthly life is a wave between consolation and desolation and use the knowledge that a time of consolation will follow to keep motivated.  The problem is that like spiritual consolation/desolation emotional desolation should be reflected upon.  I will need to decide over the next five days what to do for the next weekend (and all after in the routine).  That brings we back to my original question – either I need that sleep more than I thought or changing it is harder than I imagined.

I don’t like reflecting on these moments because I am generally a wimp.  My gut reaction is to assume that I need that sleep more than I think and to rethink the weekend routine.  My gut reaction is that it is too hard.  No one really likes looking at the areas they are weakest.  Blech.  Blech. Blech.

Monday was a hard day in and of itself, and before I make the decision on early Sunday wake-up, I will have to take a step back from that yukkiness.  It is hard separating stuff out, it would be so much easier to say something like, “See!  If I’d only slept in on Sunday I’d have had more in me to deal with today and…” .  Yet, if I had slept in I would be saying to myself, “see, one simple goal and you missed it”.  So Sunday must be separate from the grumpies.

Well, I will let you know later in the week if I plan do try it again next weekend.  This one is still in discernment.


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