Posted by: cmittermeier | January 18, 2011

Focus

Yesterday was a challenging day because I found it very hard to focus.  I still managed to get a lot off the to-do list, it was just in a very haphazard way.  For example, I made three trips up and down the stairs right after the other to get three separate items, none of them were related and all of them just popped into my mind when I got back down the stairs.  I was not able to get my walk in because I had planned to do it during the evening and the appointment with my sons ADHD Doc created an extra errand.  That is life, and it only puts more weight to getting the exercise in as early in the day as I can.

I have been thinking a lot about how I am going to continue when my trainer no longer comes every second day to the house.  I am not the type to push myself as hard as she pushes me – yet the results are so striking I see glimmers of hope becoming reality.  I Know my ADHD will make it very difficult to do that, but that just means I need to put in place more accountability.  This blog is one, and there are a few friends.    I am keeping my eyes open to see what other helps God is hiding along the way.

What keeps people going for long term journeys like this?  I think I am going to read through Exodus – or find some reflections on it.  I am sure there are other journeys in the bible too that will help.  Though I’m pretty sure my journey will not take 40 years, it will be longer than I am normally able to stay the course.   This morning I woke up to the verses from St. Paul on temptation and how we will not be tempted beyond our means to resist.  I strongly believe in that passage, I have seen its truth more times than I can remember.  There is nothing his Grace will not get me past; I am strong enough for this journey because anything that is beyond my strength won’t befall me.

I will try hard to not forget those moments near the end of my crunches or quad exercises when my muscles burn and part of me wants to cry thinking I just can’t go on.  I have never pushed my body so hard before, I have always stopped well before such fatigue because I had never managed my blood sugar and I knew pushing that hard would result in passing out.  Every time yesterday that I was able to do just that one more I could feel myself pushing my envelope closer to the goal.  Not the fitness goals but the “I can push myself” goal.  Mentally I became stronger.  It was a thread of hope turned reality.

I don’t have all my own answers, they will find me when they are needed.  Pause before you go back to your day and remember that – you don’t need all your answers either.  God is constantly opening your eyes just to the path ahead, you and I don’t need to see the whole road to know it exists.  We only need to see the pavement we will drive on next.

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