Posted by: cmittermeier | February 14, 2011

Next Steps in the Journey to Health

So the scale isn’t changing.  I spent my time on the treadmill this morning going over this from many different angles including: spiritual, blood sugar, blood pressure, exercise, routine and food. 

I am now controling my blood sugar and my blood pressure consistantly, so its not that I have fallen back into the habit of exercise then overeat to not pass out as Ihad been in the past.  I’m still having a very minor bit of vertigo from the weaning of tegretol, but its not impacting things.  My cardio is still increasing, though I realized I was not pushing myself as hard as I knew I could be.  I resolved to push that bit more and keep my speed over 3.2 excluding warm-up and cool-down.  I’m now at 46 minutes in total (so 36 minutes over 3.2) and today I spent 20 minutes at my top speed, 3.6mph.  I feel like I am slipping in terms of my abdominals, so I’m going to do some review tomorrow afternoon. In terms of eating, I’ve pretty much eliminated the evening snack, but I know many people have often spoke me to on how it is an important one to have so I’m going to try and put in some yogurt and fruit seeing as I still can’t quite bring myself to eat veggies in the evening.  I have been good at keeping treat foods to a minimum, but as the scale isn’t moving I think my 150 extra calories of fun food need to be looked at again.

Spiritually this is a very rich place to be, with so much to think about.  It is frustrating to push, push, push and be denied the success you want.  I have certainly given up on this journey in the past because of this very thing.  Perserverence and fortitude are two virtues that are certainly being worked here!  Patience is not one of those vitues that I have a rollar coaster relationship with as it is certainly affected by my hormones.  Right now I am in a time where I have an easier time with it.  Now it is more the above two that are being worked.  In the back of my brain I keep hearing myself remind that I’m not choosing this moment but the end goal and to focus on that instead of the scales results.  Its a lifestyle that I’m aiming for here: daily exercise, more active lifestyle (like walking for groceries and biking to places I need to go even when I can drive), and eating healthy.  That is the goal, loosing weight was to be a side-effect and I can’t interchange those goals. Perserverence means I have to stay focused on the real goal, not swap it out for the society approved look alike.   Certainly, it is hard to resist temptations… like the parish bake sale yesterday.  Oh my, oh my, oh my… amazing  lemon biscotti and a very tiny brownie bites.  Fortitude here folks: the mental and emotional strength in facing difficulty, adversity, danger, or temptation courageously.  Ah, yeah, that needs a bit of work!

My life is very not confined to just my physical recovery – I’m a mom, a wife, a volunteer in a number of different places and when I kept coming back to those two words I saw how necessary they are in so many areas of my life.  Transference, the ability use a skill learned in one area in another, means that the lessons I learn here can be used everywhere.  That is a powerful thought.  In that larger context, I am glad the scale has stopped moving.  I don’t want to have to rely on constant positive reinforcement in order to continue, and facing this challenge is forcing me to work on my perserverence and fortitude.  Now those are muscles worth exercising!

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