Posted by: cmittermeier | December 12, 2011

We all die

My son has been having issues with riding on the bus for the last week.  Today we finally got it out of him.

While sitting on his own, alone, the thought went through his head that I am going to die in a car accident.  He is 7, going on 8 come January.  This is not the first time he spoke of me dying, and I doubt it will surprise any of my close friends that I took it very seriously.

I knew for months before my father’s death that he was going to die.   I freaked out on him the week before he died when his head was dropped forward while reading in the car.  He calmed me by reassuring me he’d just had a physical and everything was fine.  The autopsy showed his heart so clogged he should not have been able to walk up the stairs to his office as he did every day.  I didn’t handle my son’s worries the same way my father did.

I explained to my son that his thought could be coming from two sources – yes, it is possibly God is trying to prepare him for my death.  However, I’ve had just as many false positives and so I warned him it could also be just to distract him, to waste his time and that it may not come true.  I spent time answering their questions about what would happen if something happened.  I reminded them of John Paul II, his mother died at a young age as well, leaving him, his older brother and his father to go forward.  John Paul II took his greif to Mama Mary, and told her that now she was to be his Mother.  On todays feast of Our Lady of Guadelupe I take comfort in that she is Mother to us all.

Now I sit alone and ponder his words.  What words will be left unsaid?  Will I be better able to bring to Christ those in my prayers?  Having survived my own father’s death I know something of the pain my children would be subject to, I take comfort that just as God was there for me He will be for my sons.  I would do a lot to spare them that pain, much of my quest for health is for that reason.  But as my son said, we all die.

Advent is a time of preparation for Jesus’ return, for most of us that will be when we die, not in the days of his return.  I suspect my meditations will take a different turn with my sons words…

We all die.

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Responses

  1. Wow….

    You do not cease to amaze me.

    I would have done what your Dad did…

    It is just easier that way. Far from better, but yes, easier…


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