Posted by: cmittermeier | February 23, 2012

God Size Hole

The last few days my boys have needed extra time with me.  More cuddles, more quiet time, just more me.  At a certain point I always get a bit worn of being a human teddy bear.  As I took it to prayer, asking how to help them, I was reminded of St. Augustine’s words about how we all have a God size hole in our hearts.

My boys are average boys.  Yes, they have had their challenges and one is going through a very rough spot (last year it was his brother’s turn in a hard place).  As I look around at their friends, no child is immune from trials.  Parents can’t cover everything, at some point we are powerless as they get hurt.  Worse still, we can’t be everything and will be the source (or at least a contributing factor) to that hurt.  It is part of growing up.

Today, as I looked at them searching once again for answers to “why do they seem to need me so much?” it hit me that I am only human and they are seeking the Divine.  My youngest feels as if God has abandoned him right now, no wonder I am a poor substitute.  I talked with them about it, they both liked the idea of spending some time at the chapel.  Not too much, they are still little, but time in quiet with God is an important thing to learn.  This will not be the last time humanity falls short.  This will not be the last time they face the feeling that God isn’t near because their prayers aren’t being answered the way they wanted.  I’m hoping to start a pattern of seeking – not away from God, but through him.

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