Soon its time for the long masses… as a child growing up I’m not sure if I heard much of the passion narrative beyond the audiences lines (Crucify him! Crucify him!). I remember wondering what could have gotten all those people who days earlier were welcoming him like a King as he processed in under the palms to call for his death. As an adult, I get it all too well. I don’t balance the flesh and the spirit too well… I let the wants of the body take priority over the needs of the spirit. Gluttony is different from feeding! Often those of us who are overweight are still malnourished, so you could say I put my bodily wants over my bodily needs too. Knowing what’s good for me, it’s all to easy to go for what does me harm.
Lent is coming to a close and I feel like I never really did anything this year. I’m going to spend a lot more time today focusing on Holy Week and what I want to do with for that. Good Friday was always my focus, but this year… this year I really want to focus on Easter Saturday, the vigil while we wait for his return. My body is only now beginning to respond to the (positive) changes, I have to be patient with it ’cause lets face it, the weight didn’t go on over night and it won’t come off that way. Its a waiting game, with so much to learn.
I look at Mary, the mother of God. She and the other women did not run away. They stayed the course. There are times in this journey when I follow their lead, when I stay the course with prayer and action, not giving up.
I look at those on the road to Emmaus, who have started to walk away and were intercepted by Christ himself! How gently he reigned them in, bringing back to life the embers of the fire they feared dead. There are times when I start walking away from this journey, but like them God reaches out to re-ignite my fire.
I look at the other disciples, who went into hiding. So often I’ve frozen my journey! They were like the middle road between the ever faithful and those who even having heard the truth began to slide away…
As I look back on Lent, I see times when I have done all three. In all three, Christ was very fully present. Though I never figured out quite what to “do for lent”, this year Lent came to me. It was a time of consolation, reflection and growth. It was for me more about Easter than Good Friday.
How I wish I had the words, but this Lent my body came back into balance. It is responding to changes, last years summer clothes fall off me. This year was not about the anguish of Good Friday – the suffering with no perceptible gain – this year was about the resurrection! It was about what grows from the grain of wheat! I am that person I never thought I would be. I am the one who climbs 12 flights of stairs a day. I am the one who does crunches while listening to music instead of lounging on the couch. I am the one making black bean brownies, bran muffins and using whole sweeteners like honey instead of refined sugar…
Now yes folks, I still have far to go, but something inside changed and it feels good.
I am becoming who God intended me to be. Healthy. Whole. Balanced.
Mittermeier 
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