Posted by: cmittermeier | August 16, 2012

Insanity

– I wrote this draft back in June.  June 19 to be exact.  I don’t know why I didn’t publish it, I kind of like it!

They say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expected a different result…. so you see, I am insane.

Over the past year I have been doing pretty much the same stuff hoping it will magically shed the excess weight I accumulated years ago. Yes I have made small changes and I have seen small results, but really folks, this is now three years since I left work and I’ve only lost 15 pounds. My sister has lost a whole person in that time, my highschool best friend has lost almost both of my sons combined weight in half that time… and I’ve lost 15 ounds.

I know a big issue for me is consistency in exercise. To a smaller degree I have some food issues. When the stress is bad I will eat more carbohydrates in the evening, but the 15 down is primarily because my regular, day-in-day-out eating is much better controled and much healthier. The benefits there are showing in other ways, I have noticed my skin is doing much better for example.

Over the last month I have pondered why my exercise is the big problem and here is what I have realized. For one thing when I read a book on exercise I do not care at all about the workouts, I may take an exercise here or a bit there, but I won’t follow the whole plan. I personally like control, not being controled. I like having a cheering section, but if you tell me what to do I act more like a teenager and though I may do as I’m told in front of you I will rebel the moment you leave. I lack meekness – meek doesn’t mean weak, it means allowing another to control your power. Think of a horse, so much stronger than a man yet he allows the bit and bridle to guide his ever step.

But meekness is not my only shortcoming. I’m afraid I am also not consistent. I am technically capable of creating my own workout routine, if I were to focus too much on the above I would not get anywhere. Simply following a great guide won’t help if I don’t do it. The major stumbling block is my own lack of disciple. I lack perserverence and fortitude. I have ADHD and for me to being daily at anything requires so much God power its embarrasing. God has to send me guides who don’t offend, reminders that won’t be turned off absentmindedly to mention only a few hurdles I’ve put in place for him. To give you an example, it took 10 years to be able to brush my teeth everynight…

God wants me to suceed at this, I am the one who isn’t living up to my end of the bargain. Thankfully He is patient. This week he gave me another tool, a book called The Catholic Workout. I will write more about the book, but for now I will say that I have renewed hope that I will be transformed in body, not just spirit. Now I have to go, there is a lot to do tonight and I’m fading fast.

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