Posted by: cmittermeier | April 5, 2013

Nope, not there yet.

I never understood people who looked back at childhood and felt it was the best time of their life.  Personally I was glad every moment was gone!  Growing up is hard, and being a kid who learned most commonly by repeated mistakes, I suspect I possibly had a harder time than I might of.  I doubt I could have avoided it totally though, I doubt any one grows up without hitting a few moments of humility and error.  There are other ways that growing up is hard.  Sometimes its just the sheer size of the mountain, knowing there is just so much more WORK!

The last few weeks I have been blessed with my neice and her friend as they “immigrate” to Toronto.  They arrived from Hungary, but prior to that they were in Calgary.  As I watch them starting their life, I am reminded how much work is involved in starting your life in a new city.  Memories of my first few years bring smiles and not just nostalgic ones, some of them are in relief that I’m not having to learn a whole new geography again!

I also have a child on the cusp of his teen years.  The dynamics with his friends are changing and he is maturing.  Tonight as we reviewed strategies for managing his time to maximize his online time with his friends, I was reminded how difficult these years are to navigate.  It has been a year of constant learning, constant stretching, constant hard moments.

Tonight as I finished up something my youngest had started in lent, I found myself looking at a picture of myself taken half way through lent.  It was discouraging.  Like the girls, like my son, I am still not at the end of my journey.  I still have a long way to go and this year has been full of many difficult challenges that I didn’t always come out on top of.

It would be easy to be discouraged.  Am I happy that I have not made much headway?  No, but the past doesn’t dictate the future unless one fails to learn its lessons.  In that case you are doomed to repeat it!  Though I don’t really have a lot to be proud of, knowing I can learn from this does make me feel proud.  You see, its not the specifics of how you solved your problems but the general rules surrounding how you handle problems that matters.  I know how to screw up and get back up and that brings a smile to my face.

This week I started back towards program, and I made it for a few days.  I know next week I’ll be a little better.  I am on a journey, and the last few months held little progress.  As I reflect on the events, I’m learning.  I’m getting a better understanding of myself and that will help me make better choices in the future.  I doubt I’ll make all the right ones, but I’ll make enough.

The people you surround yourself with is key.  Do they make you feel too comfortable, that you don’t need to improve because you’re great the way you are?  Do they challenge you to the next step while accepting you where you are?  Do they squish you for not being where you’re supposed to be?  Make sure you’ve got the right mix!  For me, this year has been about learning about the people around me.  There are those that I can never thank enough for being that perfect balance of acceptance and challenge.  They are my soul sisters, and I cannot thank the Lord enough for bringing them into my life.  Arm in arm, we carry on!

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Responses

  1. I didn’t enjoy childhood much either. When people say they wish they could be a kid again I am like no way! Aside from not having to pay bills, I’ll take being an adult anyday lol.


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