Posted by: cmittermeier | August 11, 2015

Control, and the absence of

I am reading a book, Cravings, that I promise to find links for later so you can get your own copy.  It is written for all with weight issues, not specifically Catholics, to bring them Catholic help.  God help.  The book is rich and full of far too many quotes for me to showcase all that have touched me.  Today, as I read the idea of food as control rattled around and I was finally able to put into words something that has been bugging at me.

I have grown up with so many areas of my life that need work, So many areas that took so much conscious control, food for me became one of those zones I allowed myself to not control. It was an area where I could put my feet up so to speak.  I know many times when I have tried to work on my eating, or exercise, I have been resentful because it impeded on my down zone.  Years back, when I realized this, I decided to just make slow changes to the everyday routine of eating so that it would not be something that I needed to control, because control was already in the routine.  It helped, greatly, but as I read the bit on control I realized it wasn’t everything.

There are times when we need to control a situation, either because it is not in our routine space (like going to a friends for dinner, or a new restaurant you don’t have access to nutritional info), or some other reason like huge stress. There are times when routine can not be the control, where you have to be.  Am I ready for that? In stressful times it is so nice to let a valve go!  For special events, it is nice to let that valve go!  I do not know if I am ready for this change.

Especially when it gets stressful. There are so many other things that have to be kept under tight control when in stressful situations… Do I really want to abandon old faithful, ‘Stuff till numb’?  Sadly, I don’t want to let go of that coping mechanism, but that’s not relevant.  I need to abandon that coping mechanism, I need to abandon the idea that loosing control is the best control.  I don’t know how, but God does.  

Life gets rough, it gets difficult.  I have to trust God to show me the right way to let go of control.  Hmm, funny that idea… It is in its own way, letting go of control.  I give over control to God. Now that is a concept. Instead of letting control over my eating go, I ask God what to let go of.  What a cool concept.  No idea how it will work in practice, but, I’m sure God does.  

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