Posted by: cmittermeier | December 7, 2017

Happy New Year!

I love being Catholic! It means I get to celebrate New Years BEFORE Christmas, and then again after with all the secular folk. Considering this time of year is fraught with temptation for me, I think God did it specifically to help remind me of the direction I want to be headed towards before I have to battle it out.

This year I have gained back what I lost, and till today I have not truly wanted to get back to the grind. I’m still not sure I am 100% going to, but what I am 100% certain is that God is giving me the opportunity to do just that. I have said it before, only God can look you Square in the eye, tell you your faults while filling you soul with the most amazing “I love you”, and today I had one of those sorts of moments. I had an unrelated doctors appointment, a specialist who wouldn’t know me or my back story. After getting all the relevant data from me, she wanted to take my blood pressure and knowing my weight she automatically assumed I would need the “large size” cuff. Though I know the regular is fine, part of me knew to absorb that moment, live in it, ponder it, and decide if I were going to deal with it.

My chapel time was a bit earlier, and it meant I got to be alone with him, and I took full advantage talking out loud as best I could with him. As I type I am still pondering, mulling over my decision. Like every overweight person, I so want this to be a “YES!” Moment. …and like many overweight people I spent much of the time after the initial time thinking of all the things it will mean saying good bye to. I had let a lot of things back in… Doritos, homemake cakes and cookies, not to mention things like pasta or potatoes with dinner (not lunch), and eating grains more often and even into the evening! Honestly, there isn’t a good eating habit I haven’t reversed. Saying “Yes” means a lot of “good-byes”.

Though none of those bad habits have satisfied me for more than an instant, we all know the pull of that instant.

My Mum was a social worker, and she once told me that it took seven times or more for an abused woman to leave and stay away from her abuser. As I consider the pull of the instant, the truth of her words sinks in – the fuller truth, not the half truth my enemy wants me to focus on. If it takes more than seven times down this road, then I better get one more attempt going. As they say, the journey of 1000 miles begins with a single step.

Today, God invited me to return to a more healthy path for my life. There was one step in particular that stood out, and so that step I will take. Do ten minutes of exercise, either on my indoor exercise bike or a very short walk, after every meal – and I have to do it at a minimum twice a day. The other steps he whispered were simply reminders of things I was already capable of, but they too shall be tried.

As I head back down the road to a healthier me, know I am not going on will power, white knuckles, or some internal personal strength. I’m going forward because God has invited me, and that means he’s got a path forward that will work with ME – not some super idealized version of ME, but me as I am right now, right here. God knows how far I will get this time before I fall back down on my knees, but it doesn’t matter. What matters is that when God whispered my name, I said, “yes Lord?”.

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